Friday, 09 February. Semester 2 at Wooster. Chaos Theory.

Friday, 09 February. Semester 2 at Wooster. Chaos Theory.

Journal Entry 1.0: Friday, Post Week 4 Semester 2

Today was a good day. I had my sociology exam. I wrote 5 and a half pages of social theories describing the sociological imagination and the 3 main sociological paradigms. I am finding that Marx, Durkheim and I share views on more things than I would have thought.

even though all 3 of them disagree on almost everything.

I know I want Sociology to occupy a significant part of my life; what better use of my brief time on earth could there possibly be other than examining why the world is as fucked up as it is, why so many of us willingly and unwittingly (raised eyebrow) look the other way in the face of oppression and injustice?

Are we all blind or do we grossly overestimate our collective intelligence when we overdress to give meaningless class presentations on Cabeza de Vaca and his journey into North America?

who breaks a butterfly upon a wheel

The prospect of my own utter stupidity is a reality I do not feel particularly ready to confront, and I don’t know what Ockham’s razor would cut in this particular situation. It is impossible that the entire world is blind, but incompetence is arguable. The simplest explanation is that we are all stupid.

Today, I also decided I would journal and keep track of my day to day life. The goal is that I be able to look back at each day and see what I did wrong, what patterns I carry from each day to the next. I will try to do this as briefly and concisely as I possibly can. That will be a struggle: I listen too little and I talk too much.

Day 1 of journaling. 10 February 2018.

Today I met someone and talked about books. It was a beautiful conversation, and yet, I did not remember her name. I carried on our conversation in the pretentious way people carry conversations on with people whose names they have forgotten. This happens far more than I would like. It bothers me how little people here read, and it almost seems counterintuitive to the education we are here in pursuit of that so many of us read so little.

Things I did today that made me happy and I am proud of.

  1. I read this article on Wait But Why. I was enjoying it and then I was confronted by a friend who did not want to be friend any longer. It was startling. Everyone is redeemable, are we not? There is some good in all of us no matter how dark our sins.

  2. I read about Descartes’ Demon, and arguments for why everything we obsess over is pointless.
  3. I went through some of Python’s official documentation.
  4. I muddled around in Jupyter notebook.
  5. I updated my post format in Liquid on my Jekyll Blog. I would like to learn more Ruby.
  6. I finished watching Altered Carbon Last Night. I feel tempted to read the book now. I have so many books I need to get to reading. I still haven’t read Marloes’ To Kill A Mockingbird- and she is my best friend and if I owe anyone anything, I owe her that.
  7. I am finding that I immensely enjoy having the evenings to myself, which is an interesting thing to think about- I have observed my psychological state transform when I meet people and then leave their company. I will plan to make more time to sit down, read a book, and meditate on my days and my future.
  8. I watched a video on Business Insider that explained why Caviar is so expensive and it mentioned an economic theory that states how things rise in value as they become rarer. This does not bode well for endangered species- in the video it was the Wild Sturgeon that produce actual caviar.

Key Reflections of the day

  1. I feel happy when I am talking to people and getting to know them and what makes them happy. Durkheim is right I an saying that I am a social animal.
  2. I love learning new things in bite sized servings.
  3. I thrive in the chaos of activity and business.
  4. I love my own company.
  5. I enjoy the feeling of accomplishment when I accomplish a task successfully. 6. I need to figure out how to successfully implement Disqus into my Jekyll blog.
  6. I keep thinking about the Illusion of Explanatory Depth and how I need to learn as much I can, about everything. But when I die, what happens to all that knowledge? There is nothing as wasteful as death.

My blog post on Aaron Swartz makes me feel this last sentiment even sharper. We die with our genius and stupidity. Perhaps that last thing isn’t a terrible waste after all. The world has too much stupidity in it as it is.

Reminder. A conversation I still need to have with a psychology professor here at Wooster, can suicide ever be the product of a healthy, logical, and rational mind?

I have an RA interview tomorrow at 9am. It is 02:13 am. There is no rest for the wicked. Morality is relative. Erika Goetz will disagree, but you dear reader, and I, know better.